My take
Maaan, what a movie! I haven't been to a horror movie in the theater in...I don't think I ever have. This was literally the first. My flight or fight senses were at 100. I couldn't recline the seat because I felt I need to have my feet grounded. Not sure if my body thought we'd need to run or I just need to feel the solid touch of the floor beneath my shoes to remind me the movie wasn't real, but the heart was pumping the blood at a clip that's for sure! The first third of the movie, when there isn't anything "scary" might have been the most nerve wracking because I knew it was coming and kind of wanted it to get here already. Kind of like waiting for a blood draw or a flu shot, the anticipation is always tougher than the actual poke. There were two or three scenes where I fully had to close my eyes, or more literally, I had to tilt my head down so my Federer hat (newly reacquired on eBay) blocked the screen, which wasn't too hard to do because I had chosen the aisle row of the very back of the theater so the screen was smaller and their was more "reality" constantly in my field of vision. I saw so much of my (and even more the one below me) generation in this movie. I also saw myself! I've had those exact feelings. I remember day-dreaming about a punk girl in high school as I was lying in bed recovering from my hand surgery, coming in with balloons and declaring her love. And the dumb casual wishes we make (looking at you too, Mr. Billionaire!). The social commentary of social interactions was just golden. The poem/short story evil twisted version of Hansel and Gretel was one of the best performances I've seen on screen in a while. Gross but incredible! And then the ending. A literal hat tip from me. Her Wish and then his Romeo and Juliet suicide, and then her "waking up" was one of the most rewarding one-two-three punches I've seen in a long time. I was on the edge of my seat laughing and cheering with each fatal blow. I'm giving this a 9/10 just like I did for The Ugly Stepsister for the same reason. I absolutely loved the story (and a bonus to this one for director being so young), but it also made me sick at a few points!